Elevator Talks
by greysmerderfan
Summary: Post Premiere one shot. Derek and Meredith are stuck in an elevator and talk about what happened with the trial and their marriage.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**So technically I wasn't going to write anymore but after seeing the premiere, I decided that I was going to do (my first) 'canon' post episode one shot. I had idea's in my head of what might happen and this basically was the outcome.**

**Also, big thanks to my awesome Beta!**

**I really hope you guys enjoy it!**

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><p>Things definitely didn't go as planned. She knew there would be consequences if anyone found out but she didn't think that getting fired, rehired, getting ignored by her husband and having their baby taken away would be the result.<p>

She thought she was doing the right thing. She thought that helping Adele (and the Chief) would be helpful. She knew how her mother had basically almost destroyed their marriage and although it wasn't her fault; she felt responsible. It was clear that her mother didn't care about anyone other than herself (judging how she was raised and how she didn't think anything trying to break up a marriage) but hearing how much it hurt Adele and how scared she must have been made her feel horrible.

She wasn't trying to hurt Derek or destroy his trial; she would never ever do anything to hurt Derek and yet she did. She understood he was upset, she would be too but she would have hoped that they could talk things over and she could explain herself to him to make him understand why.

Instead he was ignoring her and they were living apart. She never thought that their Post It could be broken in such a way that made her want to scream 'To love each other, even when we hate each other. No running. Ever! Nobody walks out. No matter what happens". Those were vows both of them made and it seemed like the biggest one 'no running ever' was being broken in a huge way.

She was the one who normally ran, when things were bad or scary she ran but not now, now she was trying – she wanted to fix things and she was terrified that Derek didn't. The vow to love each other even when they hated each other was another thing that terrified her, she loved Derek, and she never stopped no matter what but the way he was acting; treating her felt like he didn't.

They've gone through so much between Addison (which she had forgiven him for), Finn, her drowning, Rose and everything in-between; it felt like sometimes they weren't allowed to be happy. It angered her, she made mistakes when it came to their relationship, and she knew that so she got help to fix them with the help of Dr. Wyatt. Therapy wouldn't make everything magically disappear but it helped her realize what was important and what she wanted in her life. Being a surgeon was great but if you didn't have anyone in your life to share things with it didn't matter.

Having Derek in her life made everything better. Yes there was Cristina but Derek made her feel safe and loved (which she had never felt before) and when she needed reassuring from someone who's life didn't revolve around the hospital and being a surgeon he was the first person she turned to. She didn't mean to run to Cristina when things got tough or put Derek second, it was like a bad habit that needed to be broken; Derek was her husband and no matter what he was the person that at the end of the day she wanted to be in his arms.

Having a family with Derek meant everything her to. She knew that he would be an amazing father to their child. When he had been shot and she lost their baby, she thought her world was over. Losing their baby was horrible and heartbreaking but not having Derek in her life wasn't an option. He was the love of her life, her soul mate (even though she didn't really believe in that sort of thing) and he made her believe that she was important and wanted and loved; and that wasn't something anyone ever told her. Ellis never wanted her and Thatcher left her only to show up years later; to have someone love her from start meant everything to her.

They would get Zola back, once things were calmed down and better they would have their family. She may have not a perfect childhood but Zola deserved one and once she was with them, she was going to make sure that Zola had everything she never had.

Her main goal right now was to get Derek to talk to her. She didn't care what she had to do, lock them in a closet corner him in surgery (although that was something she didn't want to do; for the patients sake) or even just yelling at him in the middle of the hall way. She was done being ignored and she wanted to fix it.

She had time to spare before her next surgery so she decided to get some coffee. She got on the elevator and looked at her phone to see if there were any new messages from Janet; which unfortunately there were not.

Talking to Derek about everything required a game plan. She didn't just want to talk without knowing what she was going to say, he was hurt and angry and though he had every right to be, she wanted him to listen to her; she needed him to listen to her.

The elevator slowly went up and opened when it reached the fourth floor, only no one got on, so it started to close; that's when she heard his voice.

"Hold the elevator" He called as the door slowly closed, he reached it just in time but he face fell when he saw her; but he stayed on.

She could pull the emergency button but that would be no use, as he would just un-pull it.

It was just as she thought that, the lights flickered, the elevator jerked and the lights went out then back on.

"What the…" Derek said, "Why did the elevator stop?" He asked out loud.

"I don't know." She replied, "Hello?" She screamed out.

"That's not going to do anything." Derek said curtly

"Do you have any better ideas?" She asked him curtly back

Derek didn't say anything, instead he walked over to the main board and tried pressing buttons, when that didn't work he pressed the emergency button.

"Hello? Hello? Is anyone there?" Derek asked into the intercom, "The elevator…look it's not moving…"

"No one's there." Meredith said softly

"Damn it!" Derek said, his fist hitting the metal doors.

"Are you that angry that you can't even stand to be stuck in an elevator with me?" She asked him, slightly hurt and getting angry.

Derek didn't respond as he stood up with his hands on his hips.

"I just…" He said to her.

"You just what." Meredith replied, "Hate me? I did something so horrible so now you hate me?" She asked him. She was starting to get angry. It was one thing for him to ignore her but they were essentially stuck in an elevator (of all places) and he didn't want to talk to her. She was his wife for crying out loud. She threw her game plan-plan out the window.

"You really don't get it." Derek said with attitude.

"Get what?" She replied.

"I did it for you!" He said referring to the trial angrily, "I did it so you wouldn't have to worry about getting Alzheimers. I did it for our family's future."

"I know."

"No, you clearly don't otherwise you wouldn't have done it."

"What do you want me to say Derek?" She asked him, getting annoyed "I've apologized to you over and over again…"

"But you don't regret it." He said interrupting her

"Regret helping Adele? No." She said, "Regret messing with your trial? Yes."

Derek didn't say anything to her, he just looked at her with hurt in his eyes.

"I hate that I hurt you." She told him, "More than you know."

"Then why?" He asked her, the pain in his voice was obvious.

"My mother almost destroyed a marriage and didn't think twice about it." She said, "She was selfish and only cared about herself." Telling him.

"I know…"

"Adele was an innocent victim to my mother's antics. When she told me what she went through…what my mother put her through and thought I was her, the guilt I had over it. For the first time I knew how badly my mother had hurt someone other than me." She said, her eyes tearing up and her voice cracking, "It wasn't about sabotaging your work. It was about righting a wrong that my mother had done. I had no control over my mothers behavior as a child and I didn't really understand what she was doing for the most part but from what I did know, she wanted Richard and not getting him made her even worse." She told him; tears going down her face that she didn't even bother wiping away.

"You shouldn't have felt guilty for your mother's doing." Derek told her softly, despite the anger he felt, seeing her hurt broke his heart. He knew what kind of mother Ellis was but he was still shocked at her behavior sometimes.

"But I did" She told him, "I just wanted to help her and the Chief."

"Did you think about me at all?" Derek asked her with pain in his voice

"What?"

"When you decided to help Adele and ruin my trial did you think of me?" He asked her hurt

"Derek…"

"Because it seems like I'm always taking a backseat to everyone else in your life." He tells her painfully. He knows she probably doesn't mean to do it or even know she's doing it.

"Derek, I don't…"

"You run to Cristina when things get bad, you run to your friends when you have problems, so tell me Meredith why I am in your life?" He asks her hurt

"Because you're my husband and I love you!" She screams to him, tears pouring down her face.

"Sometimes it doesn't feel like it." He tells her, with tears in his own eyes.

"I don't mean to do it." She tells him in a small voice.

"I know you don't."

"I just…" She's speechless. She's never meant to make Derek feel like he wasn't needed or wanted in her life.

"Why am I here if you have them?" He asks her

"Do you want a divorce?" She asks him, thinking it's what he wants.

"No, I don't." He tells her, "I still love you that's not even in question but sometimes you make me feel like you don't." He knows saying these thing is hurtful but it needs to be done, for both their sake.

"Derek, I don't…I don't know what to say but…I'm so sorry." She tells him, "I never ever meant to make you feel like you don't belong in my life because I…I can't imagine my life without you in it." She really never thought that going to Cristina or turning to her friends hurt Derek so much but knowing that it made her feel horrible.

"I know you are and I know you never meant anything by it but I just…I wish you would turn to me sometimes." He confessed to her.

"From now on I will." She tells him.

"Meredith." Derek says as he walks towards her, "I'm not trying to tell you that you can't talk to your friends about your problems but when you do or something's wrong…talk to me. I'm here and I'm more than happy to listen and to help, I want to."

"But you're right." She told him, "I should turn to you, you're my husband and I love you more than…I'm sorry." She said tearfully

"I know you are."

"We need to…work this through, I don't…we can't lose Zola and I won't let our problems destroy our marriage." She said to him. It was one thing for them to be fighting but knowing that their problems made Zola be taken away was other.

"I don't either." He said agreeing with her.

"I'm sorry." She said once again in a small voice, "I didn't mean to destroy your trial and I know how scared you are." She said referring to her chances of getting Alzheimers.

"I am." He confessed, "I just…I wanted a cure so that…I wanted a cure for you." He tells her looking in her eyes. They look at one another for a few moments she can see the fear in his eyes instead of anger and he can see the regret and love in hers.

"So how do we fix this?" She asked him softly regarding to their situation.

"First off; I love you and I don't want you to think and I never stopped or that I would." He says, his hands on her cheeks, "Second; I move back in and no matter what happens we don't let anything interfere with us or our marriage again. The Post It sticks." He said to her knowing that he broke it. It hurts him to think that he was the one who broke his vows so badly.

"Post It sticks." She says as she leaned her forehead against his.

"We're going to get Zola back." He reassures her, "We'll show Janet just how much of a loving home we are and that no one can raise her better than us." Meredith was the love of his life and the best mother that Zola – or any child could have.

"I love you." She told him and she was going to tell him everyday from now on.

"I love you too." He told her back. Wrapping his arms around breathing in her hair, his favourite scent. She was the love of his life and nothing could ever change that.

They stayed like that for several moments before they pulled back and leaned in for a gently yet passionate kiss before the elevator moved and the doors opened revealing Mark, Owen and Cristina outside.

"Everything okay?" Mark asked them

"Everything is great." Derek told him and grasped Meredith's hand and they walked out together.

"I have a little bit of time before my next surgery. Coffee?" She asked him

"Love to." He told her as they started walking towards the coffee cart.

They were going to put themselves, their marriage, and most importantly their family first.

**Comments are appreciated!**


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